Chorizo Ramen

I've been pretty overwhelmed/underwhelmed since Thanksgiving, when I sort of burned myself out on good food and food quests. So here's a lazy post. I just found this forgotten image from August this year of a chorizo ramen I made when presumably my inspiration/desire for a grandiose meal was at an ebb, but I had some nice Spanish chorizo on hand, plus some ... ? I don't know what the greens are, maybe spinach? Kombu?

For this I sliced up the chorizo in thin slices and sauteed with garlic and probably thin-sliced onion in the pot I would boil the noodles in. Once the meat had a nice browning/blackening, you might remove this to a bowl; or just say fuck it, it's ramen, I'm hungry. Either way, add about 2-3 cups of water per ramen block (carefully: oil + water, etc.), and then add the ramen -- this was two ramen discs. Bring to a boil and then simmer. Duh.

I've been buying cases of ramen that have a super spicy stock that I can't eat. But their noodles are really nice and they come in pot-friendly round cakes, so I just reserve the spice packets. About $1.09 each. There are many more cheaper varieties, but these have a good enough noodle texture for me.

So, if you've got good noodles and cook up some simple flavorful  meat you like, you can be in business in minutes.

Fu Cheng Yih Noodles Lost In Translation

After my food poisoning episode the other day, I dropped into Dragon Land to pick up some fermented bean curd, some daikon, and some different noodles than I had at home. Noodle soup makes me happy. I like Dragon Land because it is a narrow one-aisle shop in a crappy half-deserted strip mall, and is conveniently located next to a state "wine and spirits" store. They have heaps of obscure produce, duck feet and a selection of mostly (I think) Taiwanese items that allow a segment of East Asian students to bear central PA for a few years. Unpretentious and delivers the goods.

So I got some Yih noodles, maybe also called Guan Miau noodles.

I didn't know what these really were, they just looked good, so when I got home I checked the back of the package to see if there was anything specific about cooking them. I know less now than I did before. There's a product description and then possibly three cooking methods(?) in a whack translation. To wit:

The specific dry Guan Miau Noodle in the sun manner is started from this idea. The original idea to dry the noodle was maintained them at a long time. Un-thought used the specific dried the noodle in the sun manner can be became the noodle Q-tastier and delicious. The technical is growing now, there are a lot of roasting machines, we did not find any roasting machine can be replaced the taste of the specific dry the noodle in the sun.

Obviously I infer that this is a sun-dried noodle made in an old style whose taste cannot be replicated by roasting machines. It's relatively easy for me to translate this into standard English since this is how most American undergraduates form sentences these days. How to cook it:

Braises fries: Use enough water, Heating after complete ebullition of by the fire maintenance of water, Puts in the boiling water the noodles, Disturbs slightly, Approximately 3-4 minutes, Fishes the noodles drainings does, Joins needs the seasoning, Braises fries then uses.

Gollum and Yoda seem to be free-lancing in translation services in-between major films. In The Empire Strikes Back there is the scene in Yoda's hut where he fixes a stew for Luke and himself: they deleted the part where Yoda intones "Fishes the noodles drainings does" right before the impatient Luke lashes out.

On to Recipe #2:

Flour: Use enough water, Heating after complete ebullition, Ebullition of by the fire maintenance water, Pute The in boiling water the noodles, Disturbs slightly, Approximately 3-4 minutes, Fishes the noodles drainings does, Joins needs the sauce material(the soy sauce, Onion, Garlic Oil trifle & hellip; Pours according to various human of taste adds),After the agitation then uses.

I do consider myself a "human of taste". So clearly they are tailoring their product to my caliber of customer. Very good. Recipe #3:

Noodles [Alright! I was looking for directions for noodles, since they are noodles.]: Use enough water, Heating after complete ebullition, Joins thought the seasoning blends flavors,After and so on reboils, In transferring to the fire still maintains the ebullition, Puts in the noodles, Boils to 3-4 minutes then.

"Joins thought the seasoning blends flavors". That is some obscure cooking advice. If I were really high that's the sort of phrase that I would struggle with for hours. It must mean something ... it feels like there's a deeper riddle to be unlocked.

Result: I finally made my soup with daikon, zucchini, kim chi of madness, garlic, sesame oil, soy sauce, dulse flakes and fermented bean curd. The noodles were very nice and had a good texture. Hit the spot after the food poisoning.

Leftover Vegetable Soup of Doom!

Just before I left for Fresno for the holidays (so called) I checked the fridge and saw that I had accumulated a variety of vegetables. I envisioned two alternate futures for them:

1) I could just leave it all and let it funk out while I was gone, and then throw it all away when I returned, or

2) I could chop it all up and cook it in a big pot and then have several quarts of soup in the freezer for the coming winter months.

What hung in the balance on the purely material level, you ask? Dear reader, you should know that I had carrots, celery, a parsnip, two crowns of broccoli, and three Russet potatoes. I also had a half head of garlic and an onion that probably would last another week without much harm (they weren't in the fridge though). Luckily, I was carried along by a slowly building agitation and excitement by the idea -- and the clear prospect of mass-production awesomeness -- and I went for option 2. In the alternate PKD universe there is a very depressed person blogging his regrets about leaving good food to rot over the holidays, and probably vowing to not waste food and to not be so lazy in the future, and writing a hollow but emphatic manifesto about improving his quality of life from a behavioral perspective. But none of you have to read that blog. You are in the beneficent parallel universe thanks to my bold actions, and you can leave praises to me in the comments as is your wont.

Leftover Vegetable Soup of DOOM!
I pureed this at the end, so broad strokes in prep and cooking are all that's required. Peel as necessary/desired and chop up into more or less medium/small pieces and throw into a big old pot, mine being a cheap-ass ersatz (cf. PKD) lobster pot:

4 carrots (organic, whoop-de-doo)
6 celery stalks
9 cloves of garlic
1 big old parsnip
2 broccoli crowns (stalks were roughly peeled and the cores were chopped into the soup)
1 big yellow onion
3 Russet potatoes
Not chopped:
2 bay leaves
12 whole black peppercorns
2 Tbsp canning salt (NB: This was slightly too much. I say 1-1.5 Tbsp or salt to taste only at the end.)

Add 4 qt of water and bring to a steady boil for about 30 min.

Add (all dry):

1 Tbsp basil
1 tsp tarragon
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp dill
1/4 tsp cumin

Stir in and turn down to a simmer/low boil for 30 min or so. Remove bay leaves and puree it all in a blender in batches and remix it. Salt, etc., to taste.

This made about 5qt, which mostly I froze in ~1 qt increments. As I note above, this was a bit too salty, but not to the point of being inedible, to my taste anyway.

Frozen quanta of soup, in situ, next to quanta of Amish chicken.

I'm pretty happy with the mix of herbs here, since I always have a hard time getting the distinctive dill, sweet tarragon/basil and earthy cumin flavors to have any balance. Probably the mix of sulfurous brassicas, sweet roots, and smooth alliums make a complementary set of contrasts to them. Anyway, Rock!