Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Chorizo Ramen

I've been pretty overwhelmed/underwhelmed since Thanksgiving, when I sort of burned myself out on good food and food quests. So here's a lazy post. I just found this forgotten image from August this year of a chorizo ramen I made when presumably my inspiration/desire for a grandiose meal was at an ebb, but I had some nice Spanish chorizo on hand, plus some ... ? I don't know what the greens are, maybe spinach? Kombu?
For this I sliced up the chorizo in thin slices and sauteed with garlic and probably thin-sliced onion in the pot I would boil the noodles in. Once the meat had a nice browning/blackening, you might remove this to a bowl; or just say fuck it, it's ramen, I'm hungry. Either way, add about 2-3 cups of water per ramen block (carefully: oil + water, etc.), and then add the ramen -- this was two ramen discs. Bring to a boil and then simmer. Duh.

I've been buying cases of ramen that have a super spicy stock that I can't eat. But their noodles are really nice and they come in pot-friendly round cakes, so I just reserve the spice packets. About $1.09 each. There are many more cheaper varieties, but these have a good enough noodle texture for me.

So, if you've got good noodles and cook up some simple flavorful  meat you like, you can be in business in minutes.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Sauerruben! Self-Fermenting Pickled Turnips

When I got Sandor Katz's Wild Fermentation almost two years ago (Christ, in the midst of finishing the diss) I got inspired by the sauerruben recipe, which is a sauerkraut style self-fermentation of turnips. I followed the recipe, which called for too much salt for my taste, and shredding the turnips (5 lb or so). I didn't realize how much carbon dioxide they were going to put off in the first day, and as you see below, one of the jars got so over-pressurized it dented the lid out. And in the end, a couple of weeks later the stuff was too salty (3 Tbsp salt / 5lb turnips) and too stringy/hashy to enjoy. It looks beautiful, with that pink color being a dilution of the purple top of the turnip. But really not much fun to eat.
I revisited this recipe after getting a bunch of turnips a few weeks back during a mammoth pickling session, and decided to go with roughly 1/2" x 1 1/2" chunks of turnip, and bought an awesome little ceramic crock to brine them in. Ceramic crock is pretty hardcore. It does for me what Chewbacca does for Han Solo: It keeps it real; it doesn't promise anything it can't deliver; and if I'm being a dumbass it will let me know but still backs me up. It is literally and figuratively solid.

I had maybe 3 lb of turnips, and decided to use about half the salt since it's less necessary in colder weather. I think it was 2 tsp or 1 Tbsp of Morton's canning/pickling salt. I coated the chunks in this and then packed them in the crock, weighing them down with a clean plate and a clean growler full of water. Then I wrapped the top with clingwrap to keep crap and flies from getting into it. After 2 days the slat had drawn out enough water to make a brine that covered (and protected) the turnips. Then I just let it go, checking a couple of times along the way and stirring it up so everything got a good brine soak. I pulled them out tonight and let them continue fermenting in jars so I could use the crock for sauerkraut tomorrow. The big shot glass on the right has the remainder of the brine, turned a beautiful pale pink. This tastes delicious, and if I can save any of the brine, I would make a dirty vodka martini with this. Maybe strong, but definitely a Russian reverberation.
Sauerruben rocks.

Impromptu Pork Medallions with Portabellas and Red Wine Sauce

I've had some epic food and drink in the last week, and it's always a good thing when you are too busy doing what you love to blog about it. Tonight, before going over to a friend's place for a lovely walnut pie and Lagavulin 16 year scotch dessert meeting, I tried to keep dinner simple. I boiled some potatoes with sage stems and a bay leaf, and seared some pork loin medallions from a giant Wegman's 4-pack I had forgotten about. Added two small portabellas, onions, garlic, fresh rosemary, and S&P to this, and after removing the meat I threw in about a 1/2 cup of red wine I was drinking and added more butter and a bit of Wondra flour and let it reduce, stirring. Then I poured this over the pork and ate as if someone who loved me cooked the meal. Which was the case.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Making Food = Making Love

That's all.

Almost. I need (knead) to make my own bread. Move closer to the equation.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Goose Breasts and a New (to me) Blog

It was a busy week of pickling, socializing, working, eating, and being weirdly emotional, but now I'm setting my sights forward for a dinner involving breasts of Canada geese on Thursday. A friend of mine has come into these via a hunter neighbor that shoots them, but doesn't really like to eat them (his relatives do eat them, so it's not like they just blast animals out of the sky and let them rot). The challenge now is to figure out how to cook them (the breasts, not the relatives).

Having French cuisine as common ground, we both envisioned some variation on a duck preparation, like a magret ... BUT these are already skinned. So without the fatty skin, you can't really sear these and get the moisture and fat you need to make a gamebird's breast palatable. A newly found blog indicates the same thing in this post:

Be sure to have breasts with skin on them. Skinless breasts are not good candidates for searing, as they are boring. Use them for something else.
What that something else is is my current preoccupation. A marination in red wine might destroy all the goose flavor. My friend has decided to defrost one tonight, and then tomorrow take a little slice and sear it both to see how it reacts and figure out exactly how gamey it is and in what way, so that we can think about spices, fruits and liquids we may add.

These breasts are the color of ox blood or liver, by the way. Very beautiful.

Rock!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Pickling Daikon with the Power of Kim Chi Madness

Oct. 28, 2013: Avid follower(s) of the blog will be aware of the half-gallon of kim chi I fermented from a 5lb head of Napa Cabbage (aka Kim Chi Madness) about a month ago. By now it is fairly sharply sour, which is really good in dishes like Yoda's Fishes the Noodles Drainings Does! soup. Pondering the extra daikon I have from Dragon Land, I flashed on the idea of pickling daikon wedges in the ~3 pints of kim chi. Just jam them in there, let the already vinegary brine soak into them for a week, and see what I get.

After some stupidity, I cut the daikon spears in half on the bias to make a pointy end that could be driven into the kim chi more easily with the butt of a wooden spoon.
Then I drove them into the salty brine! Davy Jones's Locker! But with lots of chopped cabbage! And flavor! Here are two little wedges peeking out through the glass.
I'll probably give them a week to absorb the brine and do their own fermenting, which will change the flavor of the rest of the kim chi, I expect. I put it back up on top of the fridge to let it go at room temperature for a few days to let the fermentation kick itself off again after being in the fridge for while.

Oct. 29, 2013: It was left on top of the fridge overnight for warmth, and I just cracked the lid to see what was going on. The daikon wedges are fermenting, and there's the real brassicaceae sulfurous smell coming off the kim chi now.

Which is awesome. It might be offensive to a house guest. Deeply offensive, possibly. But I have no house guests, nor even dinner guests, so I'm letting it ride. The jar of kim chi madness is in the fridge again. I'll check the daikon in a few days. The possibility of quickly fermenting daikon spears in a kimchi matrix makes me want to punch through cinder block walls and then cradle and suckle the starving little babies that I find behind them.

Y'all know what that's like.

Nov. 4, 2013: Fishes the Daikons Spawn of Endra Does! Very pungent, but delicious fermented daikon! Still cripsy and spicy. What remains of the daikon and KimChi of Madness is depicted below.

AAAGAHAHAGGAHHHHHHH!!! So fermenty!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!

Monday, October 28, 2013

Simple Comfort Food

I just downloaded some photos from my camera and found this shot from a few weeks ago. I think I was a bit beat and didn't feel up to going to the store, and improvised with what I had.

Luckily I had butter. These are boiled little tiny baby potatoes with butter and S&P, blanched green beans sauteed in butter with garlic and lemon juice (probably basil too), and some slices of salami. I tend to want meat with my meals, and these little morsels did the job. Overall, some simple just-north-of-Mediterranean farmhouse fare. I felt pretty good after this meal.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Fu Cheng Yih Noodles Lost In Translation

After my food poisoning episode the other day, I dropped into Dragon Land to pick up some fermented bean curd, some daikon, and some different noodles than I had at home. Noodle soup makes me happy. I like Dragon Land because it is a narrow one-aisle shop in a crappy half-deserted strip mall, and is conveniently located next to a state "wine and spirits" store. They have heaps of obscure produce, duck feet and a selection of mostly (I think) Taiwanese items that allow a segment of East Asian students to bear central PA for a few years. Unpretentious and delivers the goods.

So I got some Yih noodles, maybe also called Guan Miau noodles.
I didn't know what these really were, they just looked good, so when I got home I checked the back of the package to see if there was anything specific about cooking them. I know less now than I did before. There's a product description and then possibly three cooking methods(?) in a whack translation. To wit:
The specific dry Guan Miau Noodle in the sun manner is started from this idea. The original idea to dry the noodle was maintained them at a long time. Un-thought used the specific dried the noodle in the sun manner can be became the noodle Q-tastier and delicious. The technical is growing now, there are a lot of roasting machines, we did not find any roasting machine can be replaced the taste of the specific dry the noodle in the sun.
Obviously I infer that this is a sun-dried noodle made in an old style whose taste cannot be replicated by roasting machines. It's relatively easy for me to translate this into standard English since this is how most American undergraduates form sentences these days. How to cook it:
Braises fries: Use enough water, Heating after complete ebullition of by the fire maintenance of water, Puts in the boiling water the noodles, Disturbs slightly, Approximately 3-4 minutes, Fishes the noodles drainings does, Joins needs the seasoning, Braises fries then uses.
Gollum and Yoda seem to be free-lancing in translation services in-between major films. In The Empire Strikes Back there is the scene in Yoda's hut where he fixes a stew for Luke and himself: they deleted the part where Yoda intones "Fishes the noodles drainings does" right before the impatient Luke lashes out.
On to Recipe #2:
Flour: Use enough water, Heating after complete ebullition, Ebullition of by the fire maintenance water, Pute The in boiling water the noodles, Disturbs slightly, Approximately 3-4 minutes, Fishes the noodles drainings does, Joins needs the sauce material(the soy sauce, Onion, Garlic Oil trifle & hellip; Pours according to various human of taste adds),After the agitation then uses.
I do consider myself a "human of taste". So clearly they are tailoring their product to my caliber of customer. Very good. Recipe #3:
Noodles [Alright! I was looking for directions for noodles, since they are noodles.]: Use enough water, Heating after complete ebullition, Joins thought the seasoning blends flavors,After and so on reboils, In transferring to the fire still maintains the ebullition, Puts in the noodles, Boils to 3-4 minutes then.
"Joins thought the seasoning blends flavors". That is some obscure cooking advice. If I were really high that's the sort of phrase that I would struggle with for hours. It must mean something ... it feels like there's a deeper riddle to be unlocked.

Result: I finally made my soup with daikon, zucchini, kim chi of madness, garlic, sesame oil, soy sauce, dulse flakes and fermented bean curd. The noodles were very nice and had a good texture. Hit the spot after the food poisoning.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Beer That Couldn't Even Hurt A Fly

I went to Otto's brewpub last week for a drink with a friend, and got the kind of slap in the face that is so typical of eating or drinking out in State College. You try to give things a chance here rather than to become preemptively embittered, and then you get hit with the mediocre. (Full disclosure: I am writing this after a mild food poisoning episode from eating an ill-advised "Gator and Pork Burger" at Rathskeller -- I was trying to give it a chance.)

They had a Green Hop Ale #1 on cask-pull, so my friend and I decided to try that out. Possibly interesting. But it sucked. Had almost no hops at all. Presumably they ONLY used green hops and no dried hops, and as Joy Of Cooking will tell you, dried herbs are 4-5 times stronger than fresh by volume. Anyway, it was bland beer, indistinct, not much fun to drink. Should have been dumped down the drain, all 1000 gallons of it. I ordered a Slab Cabin IPA to wash it away, which is reliably good. When my friend went back to the last 1/3 of her beer, she found a little fly in it and just gave up. The penultimate insult.

I mean penultimate in its real sense. As we got up to leave 10 minutes later, the FINAL insult was revealed:

While we were talking, the fly managed to crawl all the way back up to the rim of the pint glass, apparently unscathed by hops, alcohol content, bad vibes, or anything else, and like us was also getting ready to go somewhere else.

Whack.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Tighten Up: Prodigal Remix At Home

REM with a Sense of Humor and Archie Bell and the Drells. For the lo-budge enthusiast such as myself, open these in two tabs, and start Archie Bell and the Drells at 0:34 into REM. Mildly psychotropic for those sensitive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QlRl-70_2NE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wro3bqi4Eb8

Or try to work off these links:
REM


Original, Archie Bell and the Drells.



Now make it mellow!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Don DeLillo, Gravy, and Mashed Potatoes

In White Noise (Penguin 1986, p. 175), our protagonist describes his teen-aged son Heinrich's dinner table demeanor in the midst of a discussion about toxic waste spills:
We watched him use a spoon to mold the mashed potatoes on his plate into the shape of a volcanic mountain. He poured gravy ever so carefully into the opening at the top. Then he set to work ridding his steak of fat, veins and other imperfections. It occurred to me that eating is the only form of professionalism most people ever attain.
"This is the big new worry," he said. "Forget spills, fallouts, leakages. It's the things right around you in your own house that'll get you sooner or later. It's the electrical and magnetic fields. Who in this room would believe me if I said that the suicide rate hits an all-time record among people who live near high-voltage power lines? What makes these people so sad or depressed? Just the sight of ugly wires and utility poles? Or does something happen to their brain cells  from being exposed to constant rays?"
He immersed a piece of steak in the gravy that sat in the volcanic depression, then put it in his mouth. But he did not begin chewing until he'd scooped some potatoes from the lower slopes and added it to the meat. A tension seemed to be building around the question of whether he could finish the gravy before the potatoes collapsed.
An apt metaphor!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Kim Chi Madness

A few years back I got somewhat obsessed with making kim chi. I'm not sure what triggered this since I wasn't eating a lot of Korean food back then ... but now that I think of it I was watching many Korean films at the time like Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy, and some other one with two girls at a lake house and a mean step-mother. The latter film I associate with giant jars of kim chi, fermenting underground for years. The idea of home-based mass production fills me with a particular lust. Perhaps this was the trigger.

I found a basic kim chi recipe on the website of a certain Dr. Ben Kim*. It's a simple recipe, and kim chi is an easy self-fermenting DIY type of pickle that is delicious and therefore awesome. Obsessed as I was, over the next several years I recorded the variations and results of many batches in a text file and the proportions used in an Excel spreadsheet (called Kim Chi Quest), so I could eventually standardize and replicate my ideal standard kim chi. Here's my version adapted from that recipe:

A Napa cabbage - about two pounds
Brine of 2 tsp salt (not iodized) per quart of cold water, at least 4 quarts for starters
5-6 cloves fresh garlic, minced or pressed
A thumb of fresh ginger, minced
8-10 fresh scallions, moderately chopped (incl. greens)
2 tsp dried red chili pepper flakes
2 Tbsp paprika
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt or to taste

Assume a 2 lb cabbage will fit into a quart jar and a pint jar, and a 1.5 lb cabbage may go into a quart jar. I put ~5lbs into a half-gallon jar recently.

Half gallon of Kim Chi next to a quart jar for scale.
This is how you deal with a 5lb Napa cabbage.
Separate, wash, and chop cabbage leaves as desired. Sprinkle 2 teaspoons salt evenly on this in a non-reactive (glass or ceramic) bowl and add water to cover. Weigh this down with a CLEAN plate or similar to keep the cabbage submerged. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.

The next day throw all this in a colander and rinse well. Back in the bowl or whatever, add the other ingredients and mix this together to coat evenly. I typically use a slotted spoon for this -- I have one that fits into a wide-mouth Mason/Kerr jar and is very convenient for packing the mix into the CLEAN jars: which you will now do. Pack that stuff in there with force to get out any air pockets and add any liquid from the bowl as well. Ideally there's a layer of liquid submerging the kim chi.

Give yourself an inch or two of headspace, close the lid (tight but not white-knuckling tight), and let it sit in a room-temperature place for 3-4 days. Each day I check this and use the CLEAN slotted spoon to compress it and expel CO2. If it's hot and/or the lid is too tight and/or there's not enough headspace and/or you've forgotten to vent it for a few days, expect it to erupt like a warm carbonated beverage: i.e., take it to the sink FIRST and vent it slowly. I've cleaned trails of kim chi brine off my counters, cabinets and floor enough to now take this precaution seriously.

Kim chi stores well in the fridge, becoming more sour over several weeks, and the rate of fermentation slows to non-catastrophic levels. That's it. You have your own basic kim chi. I like adding kim chi to noodle soups, and I wrote a good deal of my dissertation eating ramen with a dashi stock and this kim chi on top. I have been thinking about a cabbage salad with sesame oil/rice vinegar dressing that includes a ton of kim chi as well. Kim chi is down-home, good stuff. It will probably make you happy when you make it yourself and eat it.

Rock!

_______________________________________________________________________
*I don't wholeheartedly endorse his site because he's always going on about superfoods and Omega-3 fatty acids and this sort of crap that I hate.

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Mental Preparations for Thanksgiving 2013

I'm heading back up to New Hampshire in November for Thanksgiving to be with some dear friends who really love food. I am getting excited about cooking the bird, and part of me is slowly, subconsciously working up to the event, rehearsing it and turning it over in my head ... because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and cooking a whole animal for people I love is unmitigated pleasure for me.

The turkey will be a Bourbon Red from the farm of a brother of one of these beautiful people. His farm's motto is EAT FREE OR DIE! Only a hardcore mutherfucker will say that.  

Wikipedia says Bourbon Reds look like this in life pose:
 

I was told they are fairly athletic compared to standard "meat birds", roosting in trees, for example. On the trip that included the Milford Fish Market orgy of food love, I roasted one of these birds. I learned that it wasn't a super-gigantic like a Butterball.com; the ossified tendons in the drumsticks are more pronounced; and there's more variety of texture, moisture, and fat in the flesh. Bringing the whole bird out of the oven, you could sense the animal's activity and lean quickness. The flavor reminded me of the difference between "local chicken" in Maya villages in Belize and the commercial death chickens back at home. More subtlety and variation in the meat. So I'm pondering about changing the heat or cooking time to account for this. But these are wonderful problems for me to think about. It's like winding up a long, slow punch of bliss for the glass jaws of my best friends.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

An Observation from John Lennon

Maybe it's because I'm reaching the age when John Lennon recorded "Nobody Told Me" just before he was shot, or maybe it's just because at this age we are more relaxed about pointing out the general ambiance of pointless bullshit that we're all engaged in, but either way I've been fixated on the song. With respect to food, he nails a couple of nice cliches in juxtaposition:

There's always something cookin'
But nothin's in the pot
They're starvin' back in China
So finish what you've got

 Strange days indeed, and we're still in them.

.

Saturday, September 21, 2013

Olive Garden ....

It shouldn't have taken me this long to realize that there is no such thing as an olive garden, I grew up in California's Central Valley. The restaurant should be called Olive Orchard.

Or if you just want to embrace the absurdity, Pasta Garden.

But no, again, this would have to be a Pasta Orchard. To wit (starts at 0:30):



Saturday, August 24, 2013

There is a Right and Wrong Way to Build a Sandwich. I'm Sorry.

When I can't get myself together well enough to make my own sandwiches for lunch, I buy them from the local university so-called catering service on campus. These [adjectival and adverbial expletive] [noun expletives] don't know or care about how to build a sandwich. Typically the meat is on top. Then there's a weird set of understoreys, usually lettuce, then cheese, then tomatoes, or similar. It's done systematically, by the dozens, so I wonder why do they do it (vehemently) systematically wrong when it could be done systematically right?

My ideal for a sandwich is thus:

By convention there are two pieces of bread, excepting the delightful Club Sandwich, which has three. The single-slice "Open-Faced Sandwiches" of my youth are emphatically not sandwiches: you may as well call salsa on a tortilla chip or Cheez-Whiz on a Ritz an "open-faced sandwich" if you accept the single-slice paradigm. So-called "wraps" are a topic for another day but they are not sandwiches (also, Spoiler alert: there is no such food as a "wrap", and I refuse to eat any thing so-named). So now it's clear what I am and am not referring to here.

Two pieces of bread. On these pieces of bread are spread such condiments as mayonnaise, mustard, perhaps even horseradish, butter, cream cheese, chutney, olive oil, aioli or ketchup. Or Vegemite! Or Nutella ... or an olive tapenade. Or whatever. People always spread stuff, whether you like it or not. We all know that.

Anyhow, between the bread, at the bottom is the meat. [NB: Often the sandwich is named after the meat, e.g., Roast Beef Sandwich.]

Above it is the cheese.

Then leafy greens, if they are in the sandwich. If you have juicy stuff like tomatoes, that goes above the lettuce.

Crackers, Ruffles, pickles -- those will be be around the lettuce layer but below the tomatoes.

And all for good reason. To wit:

The point of a sandwich is the meat, or in non-meat sandwiches the cheese, or eggplant, or garden burger, etc. If you make a PBJ (because you're high or nostalgic probably), the peanut butter is on the bottom -- especially if it's crunchy/chunky (which it should be). When you bite into a sandwich the first thing after the bread that you should taste and feel is the meat. If it doesn't reach your tongue quickly, then you are just mashing a bunch of random stuff up in your mouth with no discrimination -- like a fucking swine plowing through offal. (I acknowledge that certain sandwich-eaters [e.g, fucking swine] would disagree with this characterization of themselves as fucking swine. Thou dost protest too much, says I.)

Back to it: Cheese is known to be awesome, so you want to taste it next. It melts as you chew it and it blends with the fats and proteins of the meat on your tongue, as your saliva starts digesting it. Why is a blue cheese burger so good? Because it doesn't enter your mouth on top of a salad between two pieces of bread.

Leafy greens taste less good (on average) than ripe tomatoes, grilled peppers, etc., but they impede the incisors cutting through the upper layers, so it's best to have the tomatoes above them, otherwise the tomatoes et al. get shmooshed out the sides as you bite.

This is my logic. If you don't care about the construction of a sandwich, you shouldn't be making them. A good, coherent sandwich made with even perfunctory care can be a minorly awesome thing that restores you at midday and puts you in a good place. A sandwich of apparent madness -- ass-over-teakettle, or trína chéile as my Irish mom would say -- is antagonizing. And no one needs to be antagonized by a goddamned sandwich.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Re: Piglets. My New Favorite Russian Saying

Up until a moment ago, my reigning favorite Russian saying was one I heard on a show where some Brits were trying to recreate a transcontinental Eurasian roadtrip in 1920s or 1930 era cars. They broke down badly in Siberia, and tried to convince the mechanics to bust their balls to fix their blown engines or whatever it was. As the Brits (and BBC or TLC camera crews) tried to hurry them to act and offered to pay for more folks to help, the gathered mechanics got all circumspect and Russian and one pronounced:
Nine pregnant women don't make a baby in one month.
Now that I write it out again, honestly that may still be my favorite Russian proverb. That's a lesson I learned in Belize over and over again, especially with broken down trucks. It's burned deeply into me. But I read this one from Vladimir Putin  in an AP story about US requests to extradite Eric Snowden out of the international terminal of a Moscow airport:
"Ask yourself a question: Should people like that be extradited so that they put them in prison?" he said. "In any case, I would prefer not to deal with such issues. It's like shearing a piglet: a lot of squealing and little wool."
Much like department meetings in the humanities. After all the fighting you don't even end up with bacon.

Egads!

Monday, May 6, 2013

The JoC and an Unnecessary Marxist/Realist interlude

Looking for the way to reseason a cast-iron implement in my 1974 Joy of Cooking, I read these passages on page 163, where Rombauer and Becker acquire that almost mystical tone that makes their book timeless (though by using "she" throughout they do ground it in a particular time):
There is a certain pace in food preparation that an experienced cook learns to accept. This doesn't mean she scorns short cuts, but she comes to know when she has to take the long way 'round to get proper results. She senses not only the demands of her equipment but the reactions of her ingredients.
In much of the JoC it's easy to get the feeling that you're just being talked at as someone whose main concern is home economics. That is, literally, your main job is to figure out how to stretch the household's dollar as you feed it using money that you had no part in acquiring (i.e., 'He' earned it by using his body to convert labor into capital at the service of The Man). It therefore quietly reinforces the woman's role in the classic (now mostly altered for the intended audience) nuclear family unit of production in a capitalist system where the basic unit of economic production is that heterosexual nuclear family unit, where the primary goals of the unit are to reproduce itself biologically by having more kids to form more similar units, and to reproduce the ideologies of the roles of everyone in that family unit. Paraphrasing Althusser (1927): as every child knows, the ideological apparatus has not only to reproduce itself, but also the conditions of that reproduction. If not, then folks say "Fuck this, I'm not teaching my kids to reproduce our shitty family life because it enslaved me and I don't want my children enslaved" and before you know it, the state and ideological apparatuses collapse, leaving us all in (at least we are told so) an unintelligible social reality of pervasive horror and nausea ... at best!

Well, okay, maybe that's one function the JoC can and does serve: domesticating the domestic human. But when I read passages like those above and identify with "The Cook" subject regardless of the "she" (which I do), or when I go back for the one millionth time to check on what they say is the difference between a soft- and hard-boiled egg, I get something else. Despite the major theme of home-economy and the functional role of She in the biological necessity of familial subsistence, there are these other notes throughout that specifically identify that the Means of Production, at the most basic level -- i.e., physiologically maintaining and reproducing the family labor unit, day after day -- are not substantially alienated from She (or me, or us). To me the above passage is not just some mystifying rhetoric about what She knows intrinsically as a woman, aka, over-determined biological reproductive unit situated in a society. All people that love cooking know the truth of that statement. That's a reality of cooking. Just to be glib and Hegelian, let's say the cook is in a constant dialectical relationship with the demands of its equipment and the reactions of the ingredients. I see there is some room here, by defining a dialectic without reference to the other forces of the present economic system that is true anywhere at any time, always and already over-determined by the nature of food: physically, chemically, culturally. This dynamic the cook participates in has been (is being) reproduced in some or many forms since humans started to alter raw foods, along with the reproduction of the classic family group -- not always with it -- and one does not inevitably reproduce alongside the other.

Which is why though I'm mostly a boy I cook, and I don't only cook boiled Irish meats and vegetables like that She known as my mom.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

A Central PA Wegman's Moment

This afternoon I was shopping at Wegman's, which can be frustrating at the tail-end of some sort of "Penn Stater" type weekend where adults and children are staggering around drunk at midday and vomiting in the gutter. I remained generally calm, despite the bovine masses slumping along leaning on their carts as if they were paddling through warm molasses -- and as if that was a special privilege of theirs.

I got to the checkout line and things were moving along well. Then there's a pause and the checker (a student) holds up a bag of some round bright red objects with some leaves attached.

Checker: Gaahh... Uhn?

Me: Those are radishes.

Seriously? Radishes? Don't they use flash cards in elementary school anymore? I'll cut them some slack for, say, a turnip vs a rutabaga or even a parsnip vs a carrot. But radishes?

Poor kids. They deserve better.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Being Fed

A dear friend of mine has been away for a couple of weeks, and my overall enthusiasm for things has waned, let alone for cooking really good food.

Part of it is I don't have anyone to cook for. The aspect of super-applying oneself to bringing the best out of a flawed new recipe. When it's on the stove and cooking, I can still ramp up the heat and correct for too little browning. But it's hard to rise to the occasion when you really don't give a shit yourself, and you have no audience. I.e., you are cooking for yourself, alone.

The other part is that this dear friend of mine hasn't been cooking for me, since said dear friend is gone. It hit me moments ago that I miss being cooked for, on the one or two nights a week where we could get it together. And it was the cooking my friend grew up with. I miss being fed. I miss being fed by someone who puts stake in the sharing of meals -- love, life, mercy, sustenance, hospitality.

I miss being fed every once in a while.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Mutant Orange and Indian Corn

I found this pic on my phone the other day. I was having a Cara Cara Navel orange for lunch.



The typical Cara Cara has reddish-pink flesh, and is more tart than a standard navel. Here it looks like some of the segments got fertilized by some standard navel pollen. Is that how it works with citrus?

That's how corn works -- each kernel is pollinated individually -- so if you have different varieties planted too close to each other, they cross up but you get all different colors. Here's a pic of some corn in Belize from my diss work. This was all planted as white corn, but the farmer's son had planted a small patch of "black" corn about 50 yards away. He had it picked up in the north just to see what it would do. Their black corn is similar to what folks in the US call blue corn.



Really beautiful, but since my friends save the seed to plant the next crop, they tend to separate the white corn out for that purpose.



Also, most folks won't buy any corn but white corn, so they won't be able to sell the red/blue/black corn in the village if there's an opportunity to do so.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Kefir, I Think

Wow, I've been out of it for a few weeks. When I left New Hampshire I got some cultures of kefir and kombucha from my friend Sarah to bring back to State College, and I started those up the following Sunday which was Feb 24. Nothing seemed to be happening with either until the following Friday and the kefir looked like it had separated out all of sudden in what Wild Fermentation describes as sour cream and whey ... like maybe it went a bit too long at room temperature:
 
(In the background is a batch of kombucha, which is an odder fermentation by a long shot.) I pulled the creamy stuff out and it was sour, so I made a tzatziki dip out of it with cucumber, lemon juice, dill, garlic, olive oil, coriander, cumin and black pepper. Super tangy, but good. I still have the whey (liquidy) part and some of the starter. Interesting ferment, since it doesn't demand close attention to temperature like yogurt does, but it does seem temperamental. It seems like nothing is happening and then all of sudden you go from milky drink to floating sour cream.

Friday, March 1, 2013

An Ecstacy at the Milford Fish Market & Restaurant

Last week I was on a joint business/pleasure trip with a friend of mine up to New Hampshire, to see a pair of Oregon friends that have moved up to that area. Coming from central PA we had two objectives: raw oysters and lobster. Honestly, the initial impetus came from my travel mate, Amira Belmokhtar, but having never had either of these fresh my lusts led me forward. We went to the Milford Fish Market & Restaurant and it was an epic evening of food, wine and good living. Milford Fish Market is simple, down-to-earth, fresh food with good service and nobody getting up in your beeswax.

In the afternoon my friend Kom called them up and inquired whether they had fresh lobster. The guy checked, and no, they were all sold out. We started to lose it, but then Kom asked when they would be getting more in ... seemed pointless because we were leaving the next day ... then the guy checks and the lobster truck just pulled in! AAAGHAHGHH! Then, looking over the menu online, we didn't see any raw oysters, just fried. Kom asked about that, do they have them raw and would they serve them? "Yeah, of course, just order them, no problem." AAAGAHAGH! We had thought all the plans were nixed, but then it all came together. Later there was a question from my friend Amira Belmokhtar: can we bring our own wine? They have a full bar, but I called and checked on the corkage fee.

"Umm. I'm not sure, let me ask the boss." Moments later "Yeah that's fine, we'll probably charge like $[redacted] for the glasses and corking. But sure." The number is redacted because it was not large. My eyes bugged out. I formed the impression that "The Boss" was more concerned with normal people enjoying themselves than dropping pretentious fees on their customers. I may be delusional, but I felt a growing love for whoever this Boss was, and we reflected that in the tip. We brought two bottles of wine, a Pouilly-Fuisse and a chablis I think.

We got there and sat in a booth with gingham table cloths, pretty much a local crowd having a Friday night out in Milford. Down to earth. Atmosphere reminded me of Phil's Fish Market in Moss Landing, CA. We ordered the oysters to start and also clam chowder for three of us. And unanimously we each ordered a pair of lobsters, $24.95 a pair.

The OYSTERS! Slurping them off the shells with just some lemon juice ... the dozen went quickly. When the waitress returned we briefly conferred about another dozen oysters ...

To eat a meal with people that all love good food with an equal passion and are ready to pull out all the stops on an occasion like this -- that is ecstasy for me. Is two dozen oysters too much for 4 people with the lobsters coming? That was not a serious consideration. More oysters. I love my friends.

More oysters and the wine was flowing, we were talking, laughing, eating. The chowder came and we worked on that. Good old New England chowder.

Then came our adroit server and an assistant with the eight steaming bright red lobsters and sides, and everyone in the place turned to watch this spectacle. We were going balls-out. We jiggered all the plates around to get everything on the table and there was no room for anything else. And then we started tearing into the lobster ... manipulating with fingers, tongues, teeth, jaws ... them little nutcracker things. Eating and working and making non-verbal vocalizations ... gradually trying to slow down after the first desperate rush to consume tapered off, and then I could sit back and breathe, even though the flesh was so tender and sweet I wanted to tear apart more carapace just for the feeling of it.

We gradually said less and less and the scrap bowls began to fill and the servers took them away and brought more napkins and lemons and each time we were vocalizing taste-liquid-words and gratitude-taste-words and pleasure-texture-word-sounds to the servers, and they seemed to understand. At one point I looked around and saw that our table was the only one where the scope of our meal had reached such a crisis of space, emotion, and sensuality all at once. As it died down, we were still sucking away at the juices inside the lobster legs, grinding on the tail bits, dipping stuff in melted butter, finishing off the wine, starting to talk words again. And we were finally done. I felt like I had gotten to a right place in myself, if that makes sense.

At one point I said some fragments of lines from Charles Mingus's 'Cumbia and Jazz Fusion'*:
Who said mama's little baby likes short'nin' bread?
Who said mama's little baby likes short'nin', short'nin' bread?
That's some lie some white man up and said.
Mama's little baby do'n't like no short'nin' bread.
Mama's little baby likes TRUFFLES!
Mama's little baby likes CAVIAR!
Mama's little baby likes ALL THE FINE THINGS OF LIFE
All the things that a A REAL GOOD PERSON should have.
And that meal with good friends at the Milford Fish Market & Restaurant made me feel like Mingus's version of mama's little baby: a real good person. Much gratitude to the folks that run that shop. Why can't there be more like it?

______________
*This passage starts around 19:18 min.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Beating a Dead ...

My glee for horsemeat-related news will eventually taper off, I assure you (or since we're talking about perissodactyls I should say tapir off -- rimshot), . Until that day...

In the process of researching an Italian tile with a saint on it that an uncle in Ireland owns, I came across a post about horsemeat in Iceland by Yrsa Sigurdardottir at Murder is Everywhere, a blog by 7 crime writers I've never heard of. She opens the post with this:
In 2007 Romania banned horse carriages on its roads. As a result there were lots of unemployed horses around. Fast forward to 2013 and the food scandal that has rocked Europe. Turns out that the Romanian horses are showing up in lasagna and other prepared foods supposed to contain ground beef.

In Iceland we do not shy away from eating horse meat. We do like to know when we are being served it and would not like to be sold beef and get horse. I do not know if it was because of this or because we did not want to be any less vigilant that other European countries but Iceland decided to do testing of its own market. The results were pretty darn good for most of our producers as the ingredients proved to be in check with the labeling. There was only one exception actually, a company that specialized in making meat pies – that were supposed to contain ground beef. I am going to keep you waiting a bit before telling you what the meat pies actually contained.
Building up the suspense, she then kills me with the fake or "troll" logos people had proposed for the shitty meat-pie company -- Strobe.is -- even before they were exposed as totally shitty. Even though feelings about eating horses vary among cultures, the reaction to straight-up corporate bullshit is universal. A taste:


Good old Icelanders. Have a look at the post for the denouement to the meat-pie mystery.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Horse Flesh vs Horse Urine: One is Disgusting, One is (or was) Awesome

Obviously I am fascinated by the European horsemeat McDealio. My interest seems slightly out of proportion, but whatever, I'll go with it.

Last night I was thinking about my mom, who had hip surgery last month and I began pondering her medical history, in the somewhat morbid way somebody approaching middle-age does. Looking for clues both about what lies ahead for me that I've inherited genetically, and how the next couple of decades will play out for her. I was thinking of the drug interactions she had to look out for before the surgery, and recalled that for a time in the late 90s, early 00s, she was taking Premarin for menopausal symptoms. She's not anymore; a lot of women aren't since it's been linked to cancer and other bad things.

Why do I mention this on my food blog? Well, some folks may not know that the trade-name "Premarin" is an acronym for PREgnant MARe urINe, which is the source of the estrogens in the pill. I gather that before it was shown to cause cancer, it had become the MOST PRESCRIBED drug in the US at a point in the 90s*. Tens of millions of women have ingested hormones derived -- literally -- from the excreta of pregnant horses. And nobody was screaming about that, i.e., ingesting horse chemicals per se, though there was plenty of real alarm when the link to cancer was proposed. Of course, Wyeth wasn't out there publicizing the urine part, so that helps explain the non-chalance about what on the face of it would be multiple layers of food taboo in the USA: ingesting horse and ingesting urine/urine by-products (and urine accessories, maybe).

It's an odd contrast to the current situation in Europe, where folks are repulsed by having consumed the flesh, but a decade ago women here were gladly devouring the urine by-products every day on a massive scale.

Humans are weird.

_________________________

*NB: This was before Viagra and Cialis were heavily marketed.

Horsemeat Scandal has IKEA by the Balls

I have no real reason to post about the news that IKEA has discovered horsemeat in its "iconic" swedish meatballs. I just wanted to write that title.

It is curious that IKEA, which ships these meatballs all over the world to their famous little restaurants inside the stores, somehow knows that the horsemeat is only in the European meatballs, and not in the US or other meatballs. If they just figured out there was horse in the European balls, how can they know anything about the general supply chain at this point?

Knowing how some people really love shopping at IKEA, and the sense of well-being it brings to them, I send my condolences out to those whose illusions have been shattered by this event.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Canned Meat Taste Test in Belize

I did my dissertation fieldwork in southern Belize and had some very good food, some not good food, and also was influenced by some food prejudices (of specific gringos) that I worked to overcome. In the Fall of 2010 I made it a point to survey the various Spam-oid canned meats available done there, after I realized I'd been eating American cheese/tortilla sandwiches for months at a time (and therefore being starved) largely because a certain dipshit buying food thought Spam et al. was just too low class to eat. Oh, and any meat sandwich would rot by noon in the tropics. Bullshit. I decided to just say no to starvation, and for my short trip started to make sandwiches with canned meat and make a critical evaluation of their merits.

Three of the four are pictured above (the fourth was Hormel "Black Label"). I cut the loaf/block vertically into ~1/4" slabs and made two sandwiches from each can. I think I used mayonnaise and slabs of Western Dairy "cheddar" "cheese" on all of them. So I had each two days running while out hiking around in corn fields and hauling corn around and doing lightly strenuous work.

Overview:
I was glad to have protein, fat, salt and flavor for lunch in every case. There's a reason these things exist in the tropics, and only dicks scoff at canned meat. Meat is good. My Maya co-workers have meat for lunch when it's available. The main axes of difference were texture, flavor(ing), and clarity of palate. Seriously, clarity of palate. Don't fuck with me in a taste test, Belize or Normandy or anywhere.

The Rankings:

4th: Hormel Black Label. Of the four this was clearly the most processed of them all, and the slippery (silky would be giving it too much credit) texture signals that you're probably dealing with the slimmest leavings of the butchering process. Taste was salty, but otherwise bland; like super cheap bologna. No real sense of a unique, distinct flavor. It's like they aren't even competing for a greater share of the market that Spam, Dak, etc., comprise. Hmm. I sense a horrible insight to be revealed pending further reflection. 

3rd: Tulip "Pork Luncheon Meat". In fact it's an even split between Tulip and (#2) classic SPAM overall, but Spam wins on texture. Tulip, being the second Danish entry into this melee, manages to carry the ground-up bologna texture and flavor of Hormel Black Label up as step, mostly by being cleaner and less-preservative tasting. But they're obviously not gunning for Dak in terms of respectability. If you close your eyes you have the sense that you are eating a hot dog near the mermaid statue in Copenhagen, and therefore you make allowances for the slightly odd taste of the hot dog. If you like hotdogs, this is #2.
  
2nd: Spam. Fighting (as ever) for primacy in the canned meat dept. is Msr. Spam. As noted, if you don't like the Spam taste, and prefer North American hotdog-ish stuff, Tulip is #2 and this is #3. Spam in North America amounts to a bad word for most people, but when you've had cheaper canned meats you realize how much worse this stuff can get. The texture is more firm than the "mousse" style (if you can call it that) of Tulip and Hormel, and overall the flavor is fairly light and not especially chemically. For those who have been estranged from Spam, the gelatinous goo that used to encase the loaf appears to be a thing of the past. I have an image of my dad spooning that stuff up and slurping away at it when I was a kid that still repulses me. Clearly Spam saw there was room for improvement and they took the horse (hah. European food supply.) by the reins.

1st: Dak. When most readers of this blog (or both readers, I should say) hear "Dak" they probably think of Luke Skywalker's doomed co-pilot on Hoth who gets stomped on by an AT-AT. His pointless and melodramatic death was echoed by that of Goose in Top Gun a decade later (seriously, he was killed because he hit the ejected canopy? gimme a break. (Cue Nell Carter: My game is The Bible!)). But the rest of the world knows Dak as a fine canned Chopped Ham. It is actually finer in taste than Spam, and I believe it has more variation in the texture, so there's some depth that develops as you chew. And it has a Viking of the front and the can itself is a delightful Rosetta Stone of European languages. I was going to bring one back to use as a teaching aid in archaeology classes, but I ate what I had and got too loaded the night before I left to stop at the store.

So Dak is where it's at for me. If I end up being starved by idiots down there again, I will pony up (hah! again with the horse jokes! how do I do it?) the 5 Belize dollars (2.50 USD) to get my supply of this stuff. It goes to show that it pays to be open to new foods, and that even when the choices are limited you can still try to get the best quality food available.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Horsemeat and Loss of Cultural Knowledge

I was reading this article today about how British butchers have seen a spike in business since this whole horsemeat lasagna thing broke. The piece at the end is for some reason very depressing to me, even though I already know it to be true. I excerpt it here:

At a bustling London street market, butcher Raymond Roe said he had been in the trade for 37 years but at least eight of his local competitors had close their doors since 1976.

Even though shoppers are angry with supermarkets now, he was pessimistic about the future.

"They've lost their trust," he said. "I get a lot of people saying they're not going buy from them (supermarkets).

"But the thing is, supermarkets are convenient for everyone and most people haven't got much time. A lot of it is, people don't cook no more."

Pointing behind him on the wall to diagrams of animals with lines drawn to indicate cuts of meat, Roe described his role as butcher, teacher and chef for his customers.

"I show them the charts where the cuts come from to try and educate them because years ago, the older people - a lot of them are dead now - they knew the cuts but no one knows nothing now," he said sadly. "They don't even know how to cook."
And that last statement is really the crux of it for me. I'm not motivated to moralize about "kids these days", or get nostalgic and romantic about "simpler times" or other bland and obvious tacks. The post-WW2 industrialization and distribution of food at least in most of the global north has led to better nutrition for most people lucky enough to be born there, and as a future post will show, I'm not averse to eating processed foods. When I do get a frozen pizza, I don't expect it to be wholesome and wonderful (though I do have a favorite that seems less crappy than others), I expect it to be convenient and salty and so on. As a friend of mine said to me, it doesn't make sense that there are all these people feeling betrayed by the substitution of one kind of shit with another kind of shit. When I buy beef anus lasagna I expect 100% pure beef anuses, not 50% horse anuses and 50% beef anuses!

Anyway, the last part up there really hits me. People don't even know how to cook. A lot of the people that knew the cuts of meat are dead now. I already know this and yet it hits me in a surprising way. Well, it brings to mind a parallel process by which linguists used to describe the loss (i.e., the death) of languages under colonial domination. Maybe this model is out-moded (as an anthropologist I should be up to date on this, but I'm not) but the general sketch is that the first generation of the colonized is forbidden from speaking their mother tongue, and they gradually learn the dominant language. The next generation grows up speaking the native language mostly at home but is taught in the official language, and expects to conduct all public business in that language. The third generation rarely hears the native language spoken, except at home in the presence of extended family (grandparents generation), and they don't develop fluency and the whole range of the language's expressive capacity. After that, it doesn't survive much outside of purposeful efforts to preserve it (when that's done it's often in the context of a resistance identity movement like the Gaelic resurgence of the late 1800s in Ireland).

Same with cooking. If you rarely or never witness the act of cooking as a young person -- transforming produce into a meal -- then of course how are you going to learn how to cook? Or what about just learning how to identify good produce? Tomatoes are the perfect example. I once got in a long argument with an old boss of mine (Italian of Albanian extraction) about organic produce in Santa Cruz. He was convinced that it's all bullshit and they do use pesticides and they're just gouging everyone. I disagreed, mostly on moral grounds about chemicals, etc. We went back and forth and eventually we arrived at the real issue: supermarket tomatoes are fucking nasty; they are nothing like homegrown tomatoes. We agreed. They are symbols of a thing and people participate in maintaining the illusion that these are tomatoes by buying them and attempting to eat them. Purchasing these bland, mealy, pale, non-tomato-tasting things and performing "tomato" rituals such as adding them to a salad and then nodding along saying how good this dead matter is in your mouth is to affirm the farce of industrial tomatoes as real.

The damage is immediate in that you are eating shitty unripe food (they are bred to look ripe on the outside before they are truly ripe; they can not properly ripen anyway because not enough sugars have been produced). But there are deeper repercussions. People complain about kids these days not liking fruits and vegetables. Well, the supermarket tomato is foul. The kids are right to reject it from their somatic experience with the thing. How much other foul produce are kids given to eat, almost as punishment so they fulfill part of a food pyramid? Real, non-industrial tomatoes, apples, bread, yogurt, etc, carry the smell and look and feel of ripeness, abundance, goodness. It's empirically verifiable. Now, if children are not exposed to the process of judging and selecting the crispiest apple, the juiciest lime, the exactly ripe cantaloupe, then, like language, like cooking ability, like other fairly important aspects of cultural heritage, it can be lost within a couple generations. TASTE, is what I'm talking about, the gradual dying out of taste. Not classist taste, but literally the ability to use the senses of smell and taste to discern the quality of the food, and hence the quality of the environment around you.

As generations begin associating fruits and vegetables with bad somatic experiences, they gradually reject those foods, they eat them less, and then even if you want a revival, no one even knows that tomatoes CAN be good. And so good tomatoes -- the ones grown in your backyard in the summer that you eat off the vine with a little salt when you get home from work and the smell is in your nostrils and the tangy depths of the juices are on the back of your tongue, and you suck out the pulp and tear at the skin with your teeth, and for one instant you totally comprehend Pablo Neruda, and the taste of the fruit and your lover's nipple, slightly metallic and tangy, are the same -- those good tomatoes are no longer propagated, and they have been lost to our descendants.

And this is the real horror

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Luke: I don't .. I don't belive it.

Yoda: That is why you fail.

Not a bad thing to take seriously when you're 8 years old. Or older.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Neither Hard- nor Soft-Boiled Egg

I found this picture from Fall 2011, where I guess I was trying to make a soft-boiled egg and ended up just barely over doing it. Apparently this warranted a photo. I suppose you don't hold such a specifically cooked egg in your hand everyday.


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Leftover Vegetable Soup of Doom!

Just before I left for Fresno for the holidays (so called) I checked the fridge and saw that I had accumulated a variety of vegetables. I envisioned two alternate futures for them:

1) I could just leave it all and let it funk out while I was gone, and then throw it all away when I returned, or

2) I could chop it all up and cook it in a big pot and then have several quarts of soup in the freezer for the coming winter months.

What hung in the balance on the purely material level, you ask? Dear reader, you should know that I had carrots, celery, a parsnip, two crowns of broccoli, and three Russet potatoes. I also had a half head of garlic and an onion that probably would last another week without much harm (they weren't in the fridge though). Luckily, I was carried along by a slowly building agitation and excitement by the idea -- and the clear prospect of mass-production awesomeness -- and I went for option 2. In the alternate PKD universe there is a very depressed person blogging his regrets about leaving good food to rot over the holidays, and probably vowing to not waste food and to not be so lazy in the future, and writing a hollow but emphatic manifesto about improving his quality of life from a behavioral perspective. But none of you have to read that blog. You are in the beneficent parallel universe thanks to my bold actions, and you can leave praises to me in the comments as is your wont.

Leftover Vegetable Soup of DOOM!
I pureed this at the end, so broad strokes in prep and cooking are all that's required. Peel as necessary/desired and chop up into more or less medium/small pieces and throw into a big old pot, mine being a cheap-ass ersatz (cf. PKD) lobster pot:

4 carrots (organic, whoop-de-doo)
6 celery stalks
9 cloves of garlic
1 big old parsnip
2 broccoli crowns (stalks were roughly peeled and the cores were chopped into the soup)
1 big yellow onion
3 Russet potatoes
Not chopped:
2 bay leaves
12 whole black peppercorns
2 Tbsp canning salt (NB: This was slightly too much. I say 1-1.5 Tbsp or salt to taste only at the end.)

Add 4 qt of water and bring to a steady boil for about 30 min.

Add (all dry):

1 Tbsp basil
1 tsp tarragon
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp dill
1/4 tsp cumin

Stir in and turn down to a simmer/low boil for 30 min or so. Remove bay leaves and puree it all in a blender in batches and remix it. Salt, etc., to taste.

This made about 5qt, which mostly I froze in ~1 qt increments. As I note above, this was a bit too salty, but not to the point of being inedible, to my taste anyway.

Frozen quanta of soup, in situ, next to quanta of Amish chicken.
I'm pretty happy with the mix of herbs here, since I always have a hard time getting the distinctive dill, sweet tarragon/basil and earthy cumin flavors to have any balance. Probably the mix of sulfurous brassicas, sweet roots, and smooth alliums make a complementary set of contrasts to them. Anyway, Rock!   

Sunday, January 20, 2013

A Reflection on Guinness

Yes, I've been away from the blog. The holidays took their toll.

But fresh on my mind since I was trying to drink it today is Guinness. I went to a local sports bar, The Westside Stadium, to watch the 49ers play the Falcons, of course hoping to see the reemergence of the good-old days of Montana or Young. It's pretty obvious the whole structure of the game has changed since the 80s and 90s, so I won't dwell on that. But I started with a pint of Guinness since it was the afternoon.

It sucked. Overcarbonated. It ended up tasting like Coke ... no, Pepsi.

The last couple of times I was around Dublin (Ireland) I drank some stout with a much older cousin of mine in his 70s. He told me both times that the pub we were in had good Guinness, and you'd never go wrong with it. Allegedly they sent their people out to clean the pipes and so no mold ever grew in the Guinness taps. Fair enough. But they also get their Guinness from the St. James's Gate Brewery itself, not from afar.

Since some time in the last decade or more, all the North American Guinness is brewed in Canada. It was first Labatt's in Montreal, I believe, and now since the whole thing was bought out by Diageo, it just says "Product of Canada" on the label. And of course it's okay, but not all that great. Very carbonated.

When I lived in Santa Cruz, CA, in the 90s, I often went to The Poet and Patriot pub. They were so Irish they had a separate tap of Room Temperature Guinness. All the people in the know drank that. It took longer to pour since the keg was kept at room temperature, whatever that happened to be, from January to August and back again. Wanting to be authentic I always asked for that, even in the summer.

I was in Dublin (Ireland) in the summer of '98 drinking away at my favorite bar there, The Quays -- which is now more cleaned up and corporate, like everything in Temple Bar and Grafton Street and the rest of the fucking town -- and asked the proprietor about this "Room Temperature" Guinness, does he serve it, did they used to in the rare auld times, etc.?

"Room temperature? No. It's undrinkable like that." And he went on dealing with other stupid foreigners. When he came back I explained the Poet and Patriot to him and he still just wrinkled his brow and shook his head. Then he said:

"Back in the days, there was no carbonation. Everything was pulled from the casks and they were down in the basement. So they stayed more or less cool year-round." Then he diverged into stories about when he was a teenager  he had to wrestle the casks off the wagon and down the stone steps and into the cellar in the rare auld times. The final analysis was that "Room Temperature" probably meant cellar temperature, not the heat in the room where you're drinking. And so room temperature Guinness in August in California is not only nasty, but inauthentic.

Which of the two crimes you consider to be the greater will tell you something about yourself, it seems.